Then I start to feel a little pang of jealousy that I never thought I would feel. Even into my 20's. I have memories of frustration, anger, unfairness and feeling out of control as a child. I longed for adulthood. Mama didn't raise no fool, I knew what the trade off was. Gladly would I give up my lack of responsibility for the freedoms I knew were coming. I still feel all the emotions I felt as a child but they are dulled, we deal with it. It's not a bad thing, I know my brain has evolved and we deal with our emotions more efficiently.
I still felt that way as an adult. However, when I go over that mental list for Vi and I get excited, I know I won't ever see or experience or feel the same way again.
The fear and fearless contradiction of youth is lost. Forever. I get to imagine how she is feeling when she goes on a roller coaster, sees Niagara Falls, feels powerful ocean waves, makes her first basket, rides a water slide, swings and HITS the ball, watches something scary, gets up on a horse and looks upon (then off of) a mountain for the first time.
Perhaps the reason we choose to reincarnate after we die is to one day appreciate childhood.
At least I get to go to Disney World again. Hell yeah.
Or being INSANELY surprised when you thought you had a dentist appointment but instead your Dad shows up and takes you for a super fun weekend for your 10th birthday.
That was the best.